Thursday, December 20, 2007

To my children

To My children,

My babies,

I watch you grow, learn, live.

I love you all more than I thought possible. Far gone are the days when, pregnant with each of you, I asked myself, "will I have enough love to go around"?

I watch you play and be with one another, most of the time happily, sometimes frustrated with each other but fostering and cultivating relationships that will outlast, out stand, and outwit any others each of you will form with others in your lives. You are brothers and sisters.


I try to instill in you the values, the morals you will need to be strong with and for one another, to confront the world, to stay connected to who you are and where you came from. From love.

I gaze into your little faces, noticing each day a little more knowledge, a little more independence, more awareness of the way this world works. Which frightens me and thrills me simultaneously. I see you experience pain, and my heart breaks as I want to take it from you, but I know that in order to become well-rounded and complete, you must experience pain.

I watch you revel in joy and eagerness and my heart sings.

I hear you call for me, a sweet sound on my ears, and sometimes I don't listen to you. I hurt you with my ignorance, with my impatience.

I see each of you changing, just as I grow comfortable with who you are in the moment. This keeps me on my toes and I thank you.

I feel your arms wrap around my neck for a squeeze, or ask for a kiss, and I want to melt into the moment and save it, bottle the feeling for the days when you are all grown and gone from my home, living your own busy lives, as time marches on.

You are all teachers, to me, to each other.

Thank you for coming to me, for trusting me to be the one to teach you, to mother you. Sometimes I fall short of my duties and you forgive me with the innocence of your childlike hearts.

We are a family, my children, you and I.
Edited to add: Ok, so the picture is a bit off center, my hair is a wreck and pulled back from my face, Jacob looks half-stoned, and we all look worn out, but hey, it was Thanksgiving! We were drunk on turkey and way too much pumpkin pie!


Karen MEG said...

That was lovely, as is that shot of you and your beautiful kids!

Magpie said...

Happy Christmas, and the photo is lovely, your protestations to the contrary.

InTheFastLane said...

Very sweet. Don't we all fall short of what we want to be? Our children will be fine, because they also see that we do our best on a daily basis.

Kellan said...

It is a great picture and this is the most beautiful letter to your sweet children - it brings tears to my eyes. See you soon. Kellan

Danielle said...

beautiful family. and "drunk on turkey" I love that!
Merry Christmas from the OTHER Carolina.

Family Adventure said...

I think it's a lovely picture. It radiates the love that you wrote about so beautifully.

Thank you for sharing :)


niobe said...

I can't tell you how much I love this post. You are giving your children so much. They are so lucky to have you as a mother.